The Plot Thickens: Noah Baird - Donations to Clarity

My thanks to Noah Baird for stopping by The Plot Thickens for an author interview during the blog tour for his book, Donations to Clarity.

Author Interview

1. Who is the plot based around?
My novel, Donations to Clarity, is based around two groups of people. The first are three unemployed friends decide to make money by hoaxing Bigfoot so they can start a Bigfoot tour company. The book is also about Bigfoot and government agents who are hunting him.

2. What is the main idea of the plot?
I think the plot is about people; damaged, marginalized people. I’ve always been attracted to misfits. Every character in the book is flawed. It’s a comedic book, so the flaws are outrageous but very real to the characters. It’s a humorous examination of the human condition without the photoshop treatment.

3. When does the plot take place?
It’s a contemporary book. It takes place now.

4. Where does the plot take place?
Upstate New York, near where I live. It’s loosely-based on Owego, NY in Tioga County. It also has elements of Ithaca, NY in it.

5. Why did the plot develop the way it did?
It just did. I intended to write a very different book. During the writing process, this plot thread immediately took over. I went with it. I sat down to write a chapter with a solid plan in my head, but would end up with something very different. For example, while I was writing the chapter introducing the Elvis-impersonating sheriff, I wrote one more line: ‘As far as ________ impersonators, there is exactly one: ________.’ I loved the line so much I couldn’t get rid of it. That one line led my to creating the Julian Lennon-impersonating deputy, which changed the plot.

6. How did you come up with the idea for the plot?
I don’t tell a lot of people this, but I feel like we have a connection. The book is an autobiography. I hoaxed Bigfoot so I could open a Bigfoot tour company. I was captured by a Bigfoot because, I can only assume, he thought I was a female Bigfoot. Bigfoot tried to make his sex slave, but I escaped with the help of Elvis. It’s all true.

About the Book
Donations to Clarity

Book Details:
Publisher: Second Wind Publishing
Published: September 2011
Genre: Fiction
Format: paperback & ebook
Pages: 220
Price: $14.95 paperback; $4.99 ebook

Buy Links: Amazon
Kindle

Blurb:
The plan was simple: hoax Bigfoot, then sell tours to Bigfoot enthusiasts. The plan wasn't brilliant, and neither were Harry, Earl, and Patch. The three chemical-abusing friends only wanted to avoid the 9 to 5 rat race, but their antics attract the attention of a real Bigfoot. When the misogynistic Earl is mistaken for a female Bigfoot by the nearsighted creature and captured; it is just the beginning of their problems.

The U.S. Government has a plan to naturalize the mythical creatures living within the U.S. borders. The problem is the plan needs to be carried out carefully. You can't just drop little green men and Sasquatch in the middle of Walmart without warning Ma and Pa Taxpayer. The naturalization program is not ready to be set into motion, and the rogue Bigfoot is bringing too much attention to itself, including a feisty investigative reporter who uncovers the truth of the government conspiracy and two Bigfoot researchers. No longer able to contain the situation, government agents are tasked with eliminating the Bigfoot and all witnesses.

Between bong hits and water balloon fights, Harry and Patch come up with a plan to save Earl and the lovestruck Bigfoot. Where do you hide a giant, mythical creature? In an insane asylum, because who is going to listen to them?

Along the way, the three friends learn Star Wars was a government training film for children, the truth behind Elvis meeting President Nixon, and the significance of the weight of the human turd.

About the Author
Noah Baird

Noah Baird wanted to attend the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Clown College, but his grades weren’t good enough (who knew?). However, his grades were good enough to fly for the U.S. Navy (again, who knew?), where he spent 14 years until the government figured out surfers don’t make the best military aviators. He has also worked as a stand-up comedian in Hawaii for Japanese tourists, where the language barrier really screwed up some great jokes. On the bright side, a sailboat was named after the punchline of one of his jokes.

He has several political satire pieces published on The Spoof under the pen name orioncrew. Noah received his bachelors in Historical and Political Sciences from Chaminade University, where he graduated magna cum laude. He knows nothing about hoaxing Bigfoot. This is his first novel.

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